Perhaps you are caring for a spouse with a serious illness after a lifetime of happiness together. Or perhaps it is your parent whom you now have the privilege of caring for.
You may feel alone, and that nobody sees or appreciates your everyday struggles. Perhaps you are the type of self-sacrificing person who puts on a smile for others but lets the tears stroll down your face when they leave the room.
Mercy to the needy is a loan to God,
and God pays back those loans in full.-Proverbs 19:17 “The Message” Translation
If these are your circumstances, how can you safeguard your joy, so you don’t feel burnt out? Or if you have a friend or relative who is a caregiver, how can you support them without being intrusive?
It is normal for caregivers to not have enough energy to reply to texts. They may have to reject social invitations because they are assisting their loved one 24/7. No one should take such behavior personally. These situations are not born out of selfishness.
It is very difficult to watch the person you love and care for gradually worsen. This may lead to feelings of guilt, which in turn can lead to frustration and a curt attitude. A caregiver and his/her immediate circle of support need to be patient with themselves and each other.
The ill person who is receiving the care may sometimes have irrational behavior that is a symptom of their condition or a side-effect of their medication. It is important to take their criticism with a grain of salt and give them the benefit of the doubt.
What aspects of your life do you need to keep up with to retain your sanity?
- spirituality/prayer
- balanced diet
- regular exercise
- sufficient sleep
- spending time in the sunshine
- scheduled recreation
- find the humor in things
- open up to a non-judgmental friend
But what if you are the person that is being cared for? How can you support your caregiver? Do not underestimate the power of saying “thank you” and “I love you.”
Do you know anyone in similar circumstances? Have you considered offering up a couple hours of your week or month so that the caregiver can go watch a movie or take a nap? Perhaps you can offer to take their person to church or to the park. Commendation is free and especially effective.
Many people who are looking for life insurance are already at a stage where they realize time is finite. Usually, it is not too late to get a policy to take care of the surviving family members. Of course, it is always more cost effective to do this while in good health. And if you have a policy with living benefits, it can offset some of the costs of caregiving for a loved one who cannot perform at least two activities of daily living on their own.
If you are a caregiver, you have my respect. You are an inspiration.
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